The Lost Girls - support for the unmasked generation: the later diagnosed 'ADHD-ers'

By Kat Turnbull, Clinical Hypnotherapist

Hello! A huge thank you to Antonia for inviting me to contribute to her blog. I really appreciate the opportunity to share my thoughts on something that’s not only very important to me, but also increasingly relevant in the work I do.

I’m a Clinical Hypnotherapist based in East Lothian, and I support people dealing with symptoms of stress and emotional dysregulation - things like anxiety, low mood, overwhelm, and anger to name but a few. Stress shows up differently in all of us, and how we respond to it is largely shaped by our upbringing, our life experiences, and our biology.

My job is to help clients regulate their nervous systems and relieve those symptoms, creating more space in what I like to call their ‘stress bucket’. Once we’ve done that, it can then be really helpful to look at what might have caused the dysregulation in the first place, because once you see it, it’s much harder to un see. From there, we can make a plan to help maintain a more regulated state - calm and relaxed when everything is safe and well, and appropriately alert when needed. It’s a much healthier and happier place to be.

Which is why I’ve found myself particularly perplexed by the statistics emerging around stress and the Neurodivergent community - specifically how the symptoms of stress tend to show up more, and show up earlier, in people who identify as having ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and/or Autism.

There’s no doubt that the number of people being diagnosed as Neurodivergent (a term that refers to anyone whose learning or processing style differs from what is understood to be ‘neurotypical’) has skyrocketed globally in the last five years. In Scotland alone, ADHD diagnoses have risen by 50% in just two years, now sitting at over 21,000. More and more people (so many of them women) are coming forward often with late diagnoses, after years of struggling to cope without understanding why.

The narrative is shifting. For years, ADHD was often associated with young, restless boys bouncing off the walls in classrooms, but this stereotype has long been discredited. We now understand that ADHD isn’t always loud or disruptive, it can also manifest internally, with the same relentless energy turned inward. This can affect focus, emotional regulation, and executive functioning all while going unnoticed or misinterpreted. And whether it’s down to expectations or low self-esteem (or both), many girls became experts at ‘masking’ their symptoms. They learned to suppress their needs, hide in the shadows, do what was expected: sit still, smile, don’t cause a fuss. Meanwhile, ‘boys will be boys,’ right?

But here’s the thing: even with all that effort to conform, research shows that a neurodivergent child will still receive up to 20,000 more negative comments directed at them than a neurotypical child before the age of 12. So not only is day-to-day life harder to navigate, they’re then admonished for trying. We can only begin to imagine what impact this has on a developing sense of self-worth. It’s heartbreaking to learn that currently, autistic individuals are three times more

likely to die by suicide than their non-autistic peers. A sobering thought, and a clear sign that something needs to change.

Because the truth is that suppressed feelings don’t just disappear. And years -sometimes decades of hiding, pretending, and pushing through can take a serious toll on the body and brain. It can manifest as emotional dysregulation, stress, chronic tension, anxiety, fatigue, overwhelm and pain, all in the pursuit of fitting in.

This has been part of my own journey too, one that led to me exploring a late ADHD diagnosis myself. It’s given me a deeper awareness and respect for the strength I’ve witnessed time and again in those navigating the ‘more’ that comes with being neurodivergent. It’s also made me reflect on how I can better support others walking similar paths. Helping people find calm and clarity has always been at the heart of my work, and this feels like a natural extension of that.

So now, I’m exploring ways to weave this understanding more intentionally into my practice with one simple aim: to support those who are just starting to connect the dots in their own lives. People who deserve to be seen, heard, and accepted perhaps for the very first time. In my view, this is where diagnosis can have real value. For many, it’s the lightbulb moment that becomes a beacon of hope, a first step toward healing, in the realisation that they may be different, but they

are not less. This kind of self-awareness can be a catalyst for developing invaluable self-compassion. Of course, it will take patience, space, and energy but that’s okay. Through regulation and repetition, you’re building a nervous system that supports a calmer, clearer, and more energised version of yourself.

Let’s talk for a moment about why we’re seeing this rise in ADHD diagnosis, I find it quite intriguing. Most commonly, it’s attributed either to increased awareness, but also to broader changes in our environment. And yes, many contributing factors are undoubtedly positive: improved diagnostic criteria especially for girls and adults, better education, inclusion and understanding, and greater acceptance thanks to open conversations and online communities.

But let’s also acknowledge a shadow side, that the world we live in today has become increasingly demanding. Constant noise, mounting work pressures, longer hours, societal expectations, relentless pace and a multitude of distractions, coupled with less movement, less rest, and less genuine connection. These surroundings are hard on everyone’s brain but especially for those whose nervous systems are already working overtime. At our core, we’re still animals with very specific needs, and we thrive when those needs are met. I often find myself wondering just how much the modern world is compromising the conditions we’re truly built for. By asking ourselves this sort of question, we take the first step towards taking charge.

When I’m working with clients, I always come back to this: understand what’s within your control, and what isn’t. That distinction can be so empowering as it helps us focus our energy where it can do the most good. While we can’t always influence every one of these broader cultural factors, there is often much more within our reach than we think. Rather than simply accepting that our health will be shaped by the fast pace and pressures of modern life, it’s worth pausing to ask, ‘am I

choosing this… or is it being chosen for me?’

Now is always the best time to start, the ‘right’ time doesn’t exist! Irrespective of our neurotype and of our challenges, our healing is our own responsibility and that’s a GOOD thing. It means we get to leave the part of us that might identify as ‘victim’ behind (you can thank them for their protection over the years as you pass by) and move forward towards something better, who we really are. And who better to know, than you?

Might it feel a bit scary? Perhaps a little bit to begin with, but your consistency and commitment is more than enough to see you through and over time, what was once uncomfortable will finally feel comfortable. What felt impossible could eventually feel easy! By encouraging the practices that help people understand and regulate their nervous systems better, they begin to feel calmer, clearer, more energised, more positive and generally able to cope better. Now more than ever, I can see how much this benefits those beginning to make sense of their neurotype: their mind, their patterns and their stories. Those who are finally, finding themselves.

You can check out Kat's work via her website www.norainhypnotherapy.co.uk. My daughter has ADHD and I know first hand how powerful Kat's methods are and how much they supported her. I really can't recommend Kat enough. Antonia x